I'm not sleeping well these days. Too much running around inside my head, like kindergarten in PE class. Not keeping me completely awake, but not letting me rest either. Our dog, Willa, is old. Willa is a greyhound, almost completely black except for a white stripe down her chest and touches of white on her feet and tip of tail as if she was dipped in white only a few centimeters before she was born. I had whippets as pets for years, and when they too got old and passed on, I wanted to have another whippet personality, but I wanted to rescue.

When my son and I went to the Greyhound rescue http://greyhounds2.org/ in Atlanta, Carl Veiner, who has been in the rescuing-greyhounds-biz for 30+ years, introduced us to Willa. She was the "hall monitor", not confined to a cage, since she seemed to Carl very responsible and kept the others in line kindly. Willa ended her racing career when, as she rounded a curve, she snapped her Achille's tendon(this is not called this on a dog, but same area as on a person, just above the foot in the back). Apparently this was a common injury for racing greys. She has had problems with that foot over the years, developing early arthritis, thus relying heavily on her other foot and leg to feel comfortable when standing for prolonged periods. That foot is splayed from years of accommodating all of her weight, while the injured leg became somewhat atrophied. We didn't have to think about it, we knew Willa was the right one for us and we took her home.

Willa is 13 this month. She has had urinary issues for several months that our vet can't seem to figure out. One pain medicine compromises her already failing kidney and liver, so we are limited. She urinates in the house, only at night. I have spent nights on the couch when she can't get comfortable and cries, comforting her.

I can't sleep because I feel guilty. We have an appointment to put dear Willa to sleep on Thursday with the vet coming to our home. We leave for a trip next week and I don't want Willa to be without the extra care that she needs while we are gone. It's a problem that doesn't seem to have any great answers, and that's what keeps me semi-awake. How do you know it is the right time? I have had to put other pets to sleep and it seemed more obvious, then. Not easier. It's never easy. It's the hardest thing to do, though I know it comes from love.