I am an artist, and I have been since childhood. Art had sustained me (emotionally, not financially) through major periods of my life. In high school, art class was something that I looked forward to daily. I attended art school at Northern Illinois University, then moved to Chicago, which, amidst my misery and heartbreak, I continued to create mixed-media assemblages. I spent my 20's in Atlanta trying to sell my paintings, but not having any idea how. In Brooklyn, years late, I spent the better part of a year exploring the city and new mediums. Here in Massachusetts, I lingered a full year trying to build an arts business, including having a solo show. And I wouldn't change any of that, because all of those experiences tell me that this is who I am and where I belong. But things are changing rapidly.
In August, I got a position as an elementary school art teacher. I love my job. I wasn't sure if I was going to love it at first, but it turns out that I do. Teaching is in my soul, and it makes me feel at home. But I wake up every morning feeling guilty that I am not doing any painting. I used to do it every day, but now...nothing. I tell myself that I am taking a hiatus. I am thinking about my options, processing, and having experiences to begin anew.
Many times, when I sit down to write in my journal (I began journaling 3 years ago via The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron and it changed my life), I get the same feeling. What do I start with? And I look at my planner to help. Journaling for me is not a diary, it is a way to get my thoughts out to the Universe so as to free up the places in my mind to make room for creativity. But sometimes, my journal comes off like a diary. I try not to judge myself to harshly, as Julia encourages, but it's hard.
People ask me, "Do you still paint?" and I have to say, "No". Then I feel guilty again, like I am letting myself down. But I try to justify it by listing all of the things I continue to do, such as starting a new collaboration with a friend of mine and doing some prototypes for a new business. I am hosting an open house holiday studio sale and I am spending more time reading for inspiration and less time watching the news.
In the end, I make trade-offs. I find a new balance. And that balance is flexible. I wish I felt energetic at night to work in my studio, but so far, I don't. I have to admit that I am taking a hiatus from the physical act of painting, but I know that I will eventually come back to it. I always do. There is an ebb and flow to where I put my energy. That's where I can find peace and joy in what I am doing currently, and remain patient that something new will come along.
Wednesday, October 26, 2016
Monday, August 29, 2016
I have had the privilege of knowing Weather Monroe for 10 years, since my son and I moved into the house across the street from her and her son. Our boys are the same age, and they remain friends to this day. As you might guess, life happens in a dramatic fashion in 10 years' time, so between the 2 of us we had breakup-heartaches(or not), 2 divorces, several house changes/moves, change of jobs, raising boys into the teenage years, and both of us eventually making the switch to following our passion in the art field. I consider Weatherly a very good friend, even if there are long stints when we don't see each other. In my view, she is an extraordinary business-lady and a fabulous human being.
Weatherly opened Wild Oats and Billy Goats Gallery in Decatur, GA, and has subsequently and more recently opened a second location in Roswell, GA. Both of the gallery spaces are packed with art of all types from artists from all over the area. I caught up with Weatherly as she was in the midst of her son's graduation from high school and the opening of the Roswell location. Visit their website at http://www.wildoatsandbillygoats.com/ or better yet, make a visit to the gallery!
L: Please give me an introduction of who you are.
W: I'm Weatherly Munroe, Owner – Wild Oats & Billy Goats.
L: Why did you open a gallery?
W: I have always adored art, especially folk art and been a collector for years. After visiting several folk art galleries in the southeast and talking to many artists, I decided to take a leap of faith, during a really bad economy, and open my open space. I had a lot of support from the artist community as well
as the city of Decatur (the location of the first gallery).
L: What is the vision of WOBG? What sort of work do you represent?
W: While we carried primarily folk art when we first opened, and have continued to carry contemporary folk art, we have branched out to a variety of work, based on the desires of the markets we are in. We carry paintings (oil, acrylic, encaustic, mixed media), hand turned wood,
pottery, ceramics, hand blown glass, hand sewn/fabric, reclaimed wood products, jewelry, body products and candles, leather goods, paper creations....all hand crafted and many from local artists.
L: What other things has the gallery been involved in within the community?
W: As galley owner, I am a 5 year member of the Board of Tourism for the City. I am involved in working with the city to bring tourism into Decatur. The annual Decatur Holiday Ornament project is one of the fun things we take on as part of my board duties, We find, and work with the artist selected to create the annual holiday ornament that is offered to the community each year. I have juried the Decatur Arts Festival in the past and work closely with the Decatur Arts Alliance. We host the annual City Schools of Decatur’s elementary level art show, where we show selected pieces from the local school students for a week in the gallery, inviting the community to see the work of our young artists. We support other local events such as the annual Christmas Tree Lighting and Halloween Parade projects put on by other retailers in the area.
L: Wow, that's a lot! You must keep really busy! Traditionally, artists have been told to approach galleries with informational packets and portfolios, but of course the internet and sheer number of artists out there has changed things. How do you find most of the artists that you represent?
W: When we first opened, we sought after artists that we were interested in carrying. After awhile, we began to have artists find us. Now, we receive hundreds of submissions annually. While we can't take all submissions, as some don’t fit our markets, we love receiving submissions by email (including a bio and photos) so we can keep changing up our galleries and sharing new work with our customers. We do have people stop in often, but it is difficult to chat with everyone and see work in person without an appointment. We want to give all artwork submitted our attention, so email is a good start.
L: What is the biggest mistake you see emerging artists make when approaching you? Is there anything in particular that screams "don't take me!"?
W: We have a lot of people stop in and ask about getting their work in the gallery. I always ask what type of work they do, and tell them about the submission process found on our website. If the answer is “I do a little bit of everything” that raises a big red flag. We find that artist that have already “found themselves” and know their own work do the best in the gallery. If an artist is all over the place with their style, and people can’t figure out what their style is, we don’t have much luck displaying or selling their work. That is usually the sign of someone who isn’t quite ready for a gallery. Also, it’s important that an artist have a website, blog, or something showing that they are established and serious about their craft.
L: On the flip side, what makes an artist attractive to a gallery?
W: An artist who had continuity in their work, one who is organized (ok, artists aren’t really that organized, so we try to do this for them), one who can share their inspirations for their work with us so we can pass along to interested buyers, can produce inventory timely, who offers custom work... Most importantly, one who is easy to work with. We don’t really do uptight or cranky for ourselves, our artists, or our customers.
L: Describe your perfect artist. How many pieces, what sort of style, what sort of behavior they exhibit – what does this perfect artist do to make your life as a gallery owner easier?
W: For the most part, we need a variety of size and subject from an artist until we can find the sweet spot of what will sell. Once we have an artist for a little while and can determine what our market wants, we will narrow down what we carry from them. We don’t want to unnecessarily keep an artist’s work that may sell better somewhere else, so we like to figure out what is best for our customers for each artist we represent. This seems to work best for everyone.
L: Sometimes a gallery has a huge painting that I love but I can't afford it all at once. I'm afraid to ask the owner about layaway or financing do galleries do that sort of thing?
W: All galleries are different, but we offer both a layaway plan, and an art approval plan. For art approval, customers can take work home for 48 hours before they fully commit, as long as we know this in advance. We process the customers card in case they decide to keep it, but if not, we refund in full. This allows our customers to be sure they love what they are buying, and the size is perfect. If not, there is always the option of having the artist do a custom piece for them.
L: What sort of work (style, subject matter, etc) appeal to your clients the most?
W: We sell a lot of animal based work. Because we are contemporary folk art, most of our work is colorful, happy, and fun. A lot of farm creatures, dogs and cats....and landscapes. We try to have a wide variety to offer our customers. Art is wonderfully subjective, so we have to cover a lot of needs, but still stay true to who we are and what people expect to see when they visit Wild Oats and Billy Goats Gallery.
L: Thank you for your time, Weatherly.
W: Thank you!
Weatherly opened Wild Oats and Billy Goats Gallery in Decatur, GA, and has subsequently and more recently opened a second location in Roswell, GA. Both of the gallery spaces are packed with art of all types from artists from all over the area. I caught up with Weatherly as she was in the midst of her son's graduation from high school and the opening of the Roswell location. Visit their website at http://www.wildoatsandbillygoats.com/ or better yet, make a visit to the gallery!
L: Please give me an introduction of who you are.
W: I'm Weatherly Munroe, Owner – Wild Oats & Billy Goats.
L: Why did you open a gallery?
W: I have always adored art, especially folk art and been a collector for years. After visiting several folk art galleries in the southeast and talking to many artists, I decided to take a leap of faith, during a really bad economy, and open my open space. I had a lot of support from the artist community as well
as the city of Decatur (the location of the first gallery).
L: What is the vision of WOBG? What sort of work do you represent?
W: While we carried primarily folk art when we first opened, and have continued to carry contemporary folk art, we have branched out to a variety of work, based on the desires of the markets we are in. We carry paintings (oil, acrylic, encaustic, mixed media), hand turned wood,
pottery, ceramics, hand blown glass, hand sewn/fabric, reclaimed wood products, jewelry, body products and candles, leather goods, paper creations....all hand crafted and many from local artists.
L: What other things has the gallery been involved in within the community?
W: As galley owner, I am a 5 year member of the Board of Tourism for the City. I am involved in working with the city to bring tourism into Decatur. The annual Decatur Holiday Ornament project is one of the fun things we take on as part of my board duties, We find, and work with the artist selected to create the annual holiday ornament that is offered to the community each year. I have juried the Decatur Arts Festival in the past and work closely with the Decatur Arts Alliance. We host the annual City Schools of Decatur’s elementary level art show, where we show selected pieces from the local school students for a week in the gallery, inviting the community to see the work of our young artists. We support other local events such as the annual Christmas Tree Lighting and Halloween Parade projects put on by other retailers in the area.
L: Wow, that's a lot! You must keep really busy! Traditionally, artists have been told to approach galleries with informational packets and portfolios, but of course the internet and sheer number of artists out there has changed things. How do you find most of the artists that you represent?
W: When we first opened, we sought after artists that we were interested in carrying. After awhile, we began to have artists find us. Now, we receive hundreds of submissions annually. While we can't take all submissions, as some don’t fit our markets, we love receiving submissions by email (including a bio and photos) so we can keep changing up our galleries and sharing new work with our customers. We do have people stop in often, but it is difficult to chat with everyone and see work in person without an appointment. We want to give all artwork submitted our attention, so email is a good start.
L: What is the biggest mistake you see emerging artists make when approaching you? Is there anything in particular that screams "don't take me!"?
W: We have a lot of people stop in and ask about getting their work in the gallery. I always ask what type of work they do, and tell them about the submission process found on our website. If the answer is “I do a little bit of everything” that raises a big red flag. We find that artist that have already “found themselves” and know their own work do the best in the gallery. If an artist is all over the place with their style, and people can’t figure out what their style is, we don’t have much luck displaying or selling their work. That is usually the sign of someone who isn’t quite ready for a gallery. Also, it’s important that an artist have a website, blog, or something showing that they are established and serious about their craft.
L: On the flip side, what makes an artist attractive to a gallery?
W: An artist who had continuity in their work, one who is organized (ok, artists aren’t really that organized, so we try to do this for them), one who can share their inspirations for their work with us so we can pass along to interested buyers, can produce inventory timely, who offers custom work... Most importantly, one who is easy to work with. We don’t really do uptight or cranky for ourselves, our artists, or our customers.
L: Describe your perfect artist. How many pieces, what sort of style, what sort of behavior they exhibit – what does this perfect artist do to make your life as a gallery owner easier?
W: For the most part, we need a variety of size and subject from an artist until we can find the sweet spot of what will sell. Once we have an artist for a little while and can determine what our market wants, we will narrow down what we carry from them. We don’t want to unnecessarily keep an artist’s work that may sell better somewhere else, so we like to figure out what is best for our customers for each artist we represent. This seems to work best for everyone.
L: Sometimes a gallery has a huge painting that I love but I can't afford it all at once. I'm afraid to ask the owner about layaway or financing do galleries do that sort of thing?
W: All galleries are different, but we offer both a layaway plan, and an art approval plan. For art approval, customers can take work home for 48 hours before they fully commit, as long as we know this in advance. We process the customers card in case they decide to keep it, but if not, we refund in full. This allows our customers to be sure they love what they are buying, and the size is perfect. If not, there is always the option of having the artist do a custom piece for them.
L: What sort of work (style, subject matter, etc) appeal to your clients the most?
W: We sell a lot of animal based work. Because we are contemporary folk art, most of our work is colorful, happy, and fun. A lot of farm creatures, dogs and cats....and landscapes. We try to have a wide variety to offer our customers. Art is wonderfully subjective, so we have to cover a lot of needs, but still stay true to who we are and what people expect to see when they visit Wild Oats and Billy Goats Gallery.
L: Thank you for your time, Weatherly.
W: Thank you!
Wednesday, August 17, 2016
Migration Stories and Other Curious Lore is up and running! It took a good 6 hours to put up, but I loved every minute of it. I never really thought that curating would be something that I would be interested in doing, but working on that show made me reconsider. It took about a year to put the works together, and now that it's up, I am taking pause. A major goal, realized. The 100 birds, finished. Within my pause, however, I'm already thinking about what's next.
When I moved to Massachusetts, my goal was to become a full-time artist. I wanted to establish myself here, get involved with the arts community. Being the list-maker that I am, I wrote long-term goals for the year, and short-term goals for each month (baby steps to reach the long-term ones). Here we are in mid-August, and most of those long-term goals have come a long way in the process.
My art goals for 2016 are:
1. Get gallery representation
2. Establish myself as an art teacher
3. Implement an art business plan
4. Have a solo show and commit to another future show.
Obviously, #4 has been accomplished. I have applied to another place for a future show as well and I am waiting to hear back to solidify that goal as "finished". It feels really good to say that I have made progress in the year that I have been here, and that momentum propels me.
More on the other 3 goals' progress on future blogs. And be on the lookout for an upcoming blog about my interview with Weatherly Monroe, owner of Wild Oats and Billy Goats Gallery in Decatur, GA.
When I moved to Massachusetts, my goal was to become a full-time artist. I wanted to establish myself here, get involved with the arts community. Being the list-maker that I am, I wrote long-term goals for the year, and short-term goals for each month (baby steps to reach the long-term ones). Here we are in mid-August, and most of those long-term goals have come a long way in the process.
My art goals for 2016 are:
1. Get gallery representation
2. Establish myself as an art teacher
3. Implement an art business plan
4. Have a solo show and commit to another future show.
Obviously, #4 has been accomplished. I have applied to another place for a future show as well and I am waiting to hear back to solidify that goal as "finished". It feels really good to say that I have made progress in the year that I have been here, and that momentum propels me.
More on the other 3 goals' progress on future blogs. And be on the lookout for an upcoming blog about my interview with Weatherly Monroe, owner of Wild Oats and Billy Goats Gallery in Decatur, GA.
Thursday, June 23, 2016
Vacation. Dictionary.com defines it as:
"NOUN. A period of suspension of work, study, or other activity, usually used for rest,
recreation, or travel; recess or holiday. Freedom or release from duty, business, or activity."
Our visit to the west coast starting in Seattle and ending in San Francisco was definitely a great trip. We ate, drank, and engaged in sightseeing for 14 straight days. Vacations, for me in the past, have pretty much been just as the Dictionary.com's definition says, especially the 'suspension from work' part. But on this trip, I knowingly went into it looking for 'rest, recreation, and travel', but I also viewed it as a rather grand-scale Art Adventure.
What is an Art Adventure? Funny you should ask.
An Art Adventure (notice that I capitalize it, as a legitimate title) is an activity that is done simply for enjoyment, which can (and hopefully does) allow a person to use that experience and what they have found there in future art-making. It is meant to inspire. For instance, one might take an hour or two and visit the local art museum. This works only if you enjoy museums. Let's say you do. Depending on how long you were there, you would choose 1 or 2 exhibits to focus on and really look. Maybe just look at one exhibit. Or only one painting if time was really short. Whatever..there are no rules. The "rule" is that you do what you like, see what you want to see. As you look, there are no "goals". You just simply be in the moment and discover things.
I first created Art Adventures when I was living in Brooklyn. I wanted to take advantage of what the city had to offer, so each week (and sometimes several times per week) I would take a 'formal' exploration somewhere that I wanted to go. An Art Adventure doesn't need to be art related necessarily, but if you like looking at art and you are trying to be more creative, looking at professional art can be extremely inspirational and enlightening. So when I was in NYC, I went to a lot of museums. But I also went to the art supply store and looked (yes, and bought) things that looked fun to use. I walked around and took iphone photos of things. I went to a shop that makes string instruments and had a look around. An Art Adventure doesn't need to be "cultural"; the botanical gardens, fabric store, the corner market to see labels and colors, and even Target would suffice if you thought there might be something there just to enjoy looking at and wondering about.
So my vacation was really lots and lots of mini Art Adventures rolled into an ongoing progression of inspirations, ideas, and motivators for future art projects. More about my Art Adventure fodder from this trip later. Meanwhile, try carving out some time (even 15 minutes!) for your own AA. I would love to hear about some in the comments section:)
"NOUN. A period of suspension of work, study, or other activity, usually used for rest,
recreation, or travel; recess or holiday. Freedom or release from duty, business, or activity."
Our visit to the west coast starting in Seattle and ending in San Francisco was definitely a great trip. We ate, drank, and engaged in sightseeing for 14 straight days. Vacations, for me in the past, have pretty much been just as the Dictionary.com's definition says, especially the 'suspension from work' part. But on this trip, I knowingly went into it looking for 'rest, recreation, and travel', but I also viewed it as a rather grand-scale Art Adventure.
What is an Art Adventure? Funny you should ask.
An Art Adventure (notice that I capitalize it, as a legitimate title) is an activity that is done simply for enjoyment, which can (and hopefully does) allow a person to use that experience and what they have found there in future art-making. It is meant to inspire. For instance, one might take an hour or two and visit the local art museum. This works only if you enjoy museums. Let's say you do. Depending on how long you were there, you would choose 1 or 2 exhibits to focus on and really look. Maybe just look at one exhibit. Or only one painting if time was really short. Whatever..there are no rules. The "rule" is that you do what you like, see what you want to see. As you look, there are no "goals". You just simply be in the moment and discover things.
I first created Art Adventures when I was living in Brooklyn. I wanted to take advantage of what the city had to offer, so each week (and sometimes several times per week) I would take a 'formal' exploration somewhere that I wanted to go. An Art Adventure doesn't need to be art related necessarily, but if you like looking at art and you are trying to be more creative, looking at professional art can be extremely inspirational and enlightening. So when I was in NYC, I went to a lot of museums. But I also went to the art supply store and looked (yes, and bought) things that looked fun to use. I walked around and took iphone photos of things. I went to a shop that makes string instruments and had a look around. An Art Adventure doesn't need to be "cultural"; the botanical gardens, fabric store, the corner market to see labels and colors, and even Target would suffice if you thought there might be something there just to enjoy looking at and wondering about.
So my vacation was really lots and lots of mini Art Adventures rolled into an ongoing progression of inspirations, ideas, and motivators for future art projects. More about my Art Adventure fodder from this trip later. Meanwhile, try carving out some time (even 15 minutes!) for your own AA. I would love to hear about some in the comments section:)
Tuesday, May 31, 2016
Below is an excerpt from journal today, getting back from Georgia trip, in which I have neither journaled nor blogged during my time there. Sometimes on an extended trip(like a week or longer), immersing oneself in the experience is enough to "process" the days, choosing to reflect later at home. By that time, most of the thoughts have come and gone. No sense in rehashing all of that.
Before I get to the excerpt, however, I want to tell you what I think this blog is about. At least for now. "Musings" indicates thoughts about somethings that I feel like writing about in that moment. Considering, though, that this is mostly an art and art-based blog, I am inclined to write about my process. However, another thought is that life relates directly to art..how I process things that seemingly have nothing to do with art directly often, and many times subconsciously, make their way into my paintings.
This excerpt is not one of those times, and does directly speak to art. Mostly.
5/31
Contemplating my list to do , including some yard work--namely, the weed wacker to free up some space that is quickly closing up. Paths, smaller plants getting swallowed. Studio to work on the birds. Want to get them in the kiln by the time I leave (for the next trip). Maybe. Don't want to rush things, and can't glaze until I go to Stockbridge, maybe tomorrow. Who knows if they will get finished at this rate. At Decatur Arts Fest I got a couple of ideas--frame building, not really a new thought, but maybe interesting. Bought I piece with a white moth photo with encaustic over it by Mikel Robinson www.mikelrobinson.com mounted on an old piece of moulding, then a cut out of wood with some design on it over the top. They had some various other ones, larger, different additions and such. Some with metal. Maybe a tad rustic for my stuff, but I could tweak it a bit. The problem is that I don't have the tools for all of that. I could see building a frame and glazing clay pieces and gluing them on the frame? The vintage frame that I've been doing is still the most appealing at this point.
As I look out, there is a chipmunk sitting in the bird tree. I didn't think they climbed trees.
Before I get to the excerpt, however, I want to tell you what I think this blog is about. At least for now. "Musings" indicates thoughts about somethings that I feel like writing about in that moment. Considering, though, that this is mostly an art and art-based blog, I am inclined to write about my process. However, another thought is that life relates directly to art..how I process things that seemingly have nothing to do with art directly often, and many times subconsciously, make their way into my paintings.
This excerpt is not one of those times, and does directly speak to art. Mostly.
5/31
Contemplating my list to do , including some yard work--namely, the weed wacker to free up some space that is quickly closing up. Paths, smaller plants getting swallowed. Studio to work on the birds. Want to get them in the kiln by the time I leave (for the next trip). Maybe. Don't want to rush things, and can't glaze until I go to Stockbridge, maybe tomorrow. Who knows if they will get finished at this rate. At Decatur Arts Fest I got a couple of ideas--frame building, not really a new thought, but maybe interesting. Bought I piece with a white moth photo with encaustic over it by Mikel Robinson www.mikelrobinson.com mounted on an old piece of moulding, then a cut out of wood with some design on it over the top. They had some various other ones, larger, different additions and such. Some with metal. Maybe a tad rustic for my stuff, but I could tweak it a bit. The problem is that I don't have the tools for all of that. I could see building a frame and glazing clay pieces and gluing them on the frame? The vintage frame that I've been doing is still the most appealing at this point.
As I look out, there is a chipmunk sitting in the bird tree. I didn't think they climbed trees.
Friday, May 20, 2016
Willa's extra medications seem to be working! She was playing with Lola as we prepared to go out this morning..such a rare occurrence. I'm feeling much better already about our upcoming trips.
On another subject, I finished the first 7 small specialty-made works for my friend Weatherly Monroe's galleries, Wild Oats and Billy Goats in Decatur, Georgia. She recently opened a second gallery in Milton, GA. Our boys are friends and grew up together ever since we lived across the street from each other when our sons were in 2nd grade. Weatherly is an exceptional businessperson and amazing lady. Her galleries focus on local and folk-type art, as well as other crafts including jewelry, cards, assorted art objects, and her homemade soy candles. I'm excited to get my work back in Weatherly's realm and see how my little paintings do. http://www.wildoatsandbillygoats.com/
These small paintings vary in size from 3" x 5" to 8" x 10" and are each composed in vintage frames. Each mixed media work is a vignette, the essence of bird energy and spirit using vintage botanical print images, collaged paper, and acrylic paint. They are one of a kind, and range in price from $50-$150. Look for them at Wild Oats and Billy Goats galleries arriving soon!
Blue Jay
Mixed Media in vintage frame
5" x 7"
Sooty Owl
Mixed Media in vintage frame
8" x 10"
On another subject, I finished the first 7 small specialty-made works for my friend Weatherly Monroe's galleries, Wild Oats and Billy Goats in Decatur, Georgia. She recently opened a second gallery in Milton, GA. Our boys are friends and grew up together ever since we lived across the street from each other when our sons were in 2nd grade. Weatherly is an exceptional businessperson and amazing lady. Her galleries focus on local and folk-type art, as well as other crafts including jewelry, cards, assorted art objects, and her homemade soy candles. I'm excited to get my work back in Weatherly's realm and see how my little paintings do. http://www.wildoatsandbillygoats.com/
These small paintings vary in size from 3" x 5" to 8" x 10" and are each composed in vintage frames. Each mixed media work is a vignette, the essence of bird energy and spirit using vintage botanical print images, collaged paper, and acrylic paint. They are one of a kind, and range in price from $50-$150. Look for them at Wild Oats and Billy Goats galleries arriving soon!
Blue Jay
Mixed Media in vintage frame
5" x 7"
Sooty Owl
Mixed Media in vintage frame
8" x 10"
Thursday, May 19, 2016
I think that animals are so much more evolved than humans, even though we want to believe the opposite is true. Here's my argument: animals don't fear death. I don't believe that they think about it the way that we do, and likely don't think about it at all. Because animals are so in tune with the rest of nature and death is just part of that, not "good" or "bad" as we humans like to make judgments and put ideas into little boxes. Too much reasoning (mistaken for higher intelligence), not enough instinctual and intuitive thought. Intuition and instinct is the basis of survival, not reasoning.
This process of putting a pet to sleep is really about me and when I'm ready. Not when Willa is ready. Willa can certainly feel pain and suffering but she doesn't think about the morals, fears, justifications of dying. It is part of life, not to be resisted when the time comes. But I am making that decision for her, because I am responsible for her care and well-being. We humans took that job on when we entered into a domestic agreement with some animals, dogs being one of them. I still feel guilty, still feel that I am justifying. The alternative is not anymore satisfying.
I guess that's what a "hard decision" is. Either way has parts that don't feel quite right. But knowing that Willa is ok, without fear, and knowing that I did all that I could for her as her guardian, it comes back to me grappling with those feelings and guilt about death. We take care of, love, feed our pets and it seems counterintuitive to put them to sleep, but really it's a part of that care and love. Dignity, yes. But her pain is ongoing and she is not quite like herself anymore. So I have decided to extend her time a little bit, selfishly, with the help of some stronger meds and see what happens for now. We can enjoy the sunshine together a little longer.
This process of putting a pet to sleep is really about me and when I'm ready. Not when Willa is ready. Willa can certainly feel pain and suffering but she doesn't think about the morals, fears, justifications of dying. It is part of life, not to be resisted when the time comes. But I am making that decision for her, because I am responsible for her care and well-being. We humans took that job on when we entered into a domestic agreement with some animals, dogs being one of them. I still feel guilty, still feel that I am justifying. The alternative is not anymore satisfying.
I guess that's what a "hard decision" is. Either way has parts that don't feel quite right. But knowing that Willa is ok, without fear, and knowing that I did all that I could for her as her guardian, it comes back to me grappling with those feelings and guilt about death. We take care of, love, feed our pets and it seems counterintuitive to put them to sleep, but really it's a part of that care and love. Dignity, yes. But her pain is ongoing and she is not quite like herself anymore. So I have decided to extend her time a little bit, selfishly, with the help of some stronger meds and see what happens for now. We can enjoy the sunshine together a little longer.
Wednesday, May 18, 2016
I'm not sleeping well these days. Too much running around inside my head, like kindergarten in PE class. Not keeping me completely awake, but not letting me rest either. Our dog, Willa, is old. Willa is a greyhound, almost completely black except for a white stripe down her chest and touches of white on her feet and tip of tail as if she was dipped in white only a few centimeters before she was born. I had whippets as pets for years, and when they too got old and passed on, I wanted to have another whippet personality, but I wanted to rescue.
When my son and I went to the Greyhound rescue http://greyhounds2.org/ in Atlanta, Carl Veiner, who has been in the rescuing-greyhounds-biz for 30+ years, introduced us to Willa. She was the "hall monitor", not confined to a cage, since she seemed to Carl very responsible and kept the others in line kindly. Willa ended her racing career when, as she rounded a curve, she snapped her Achille's tendon(this is not called this on a dog, but same area as on a person, just above the foot in the back). Apparently this was a common injury for racing greys. She has had problems with that foot over the years, developing early arthritis, thus relying heavily on her other foot and leg to feel comfortable when standing for prolonged periods. That foot is splayed from years of accommodating all of her weight, while the injured leg became somewhat atrophied. We didn't have to think about it, we knew Willa was the right one for us and we took her home.
Willa is 13 this month. She has had urinary issues for several months that our vet can't seem to figure out. One pain medicine compromises her already failing kidney and liver, so we are limited. She urinates in the house, only at night. I have spent nights on the couch when she can't get comfortable and cries, comforting her.
I can't sleep because I feel guilty. We have an appointment to put dear Willa to sleep on Thursday with the vet coming to our home. We leave for a trip next week and I don't want Willa to be without the extra care that she needs while we are gone. It's a problem that doesn't seem to have any great answers, and that's what keeps me semi-awake. How do you know it is the right time? I have had to put other pets to sleep and it seemed more obvious, then. Not easier. It's never easy. It's the hardest thing to do, though I know it comes from love.
When my son and I went to the Greyhound rescue http://greyhounds2.org/ in Atlanta, Carl Veiner, who has been in the rescuing-greyhounds-biz for 30+ years, introduced us to Willa. She was the "hall monitor", not confined to a cage, since she seemed to Carl very responsible and kept the others in line kindly. Willa ended her racing career when, as she rounded a curve, she snapped her Achille's tendon(this is not called this on a dog, but same area as on a person, just above the foot in the back). Apparently this was a common injury for racing greys. She has had problems with that foot over the years, developing early arthritis, thus relying heavily on her other foot and leg to feel comfortable when standing for prolonged periods. That foot is splayed from years of accommodating all of her weight, while the injured leg became somewhat atrophied. We didn't have to think about it, we knew Willa was the right one for us and we took her home.
Willa is 13 this month. She has had urinary issues for several months that our vet can't seem to figure out. One pain medicine compromises her already failing kidney and liver, so we are limited. She urinates in the house, only at night. I have spent nights on the couch when she can't get comfortable and cries, comforting her.
I can't sleep because I feel guilty. We have an appointment to put dear Willa to sleep on Thursday with the vet coming to our home. We leave for a trip next week and I don't want Willa to be without the extra care that she needs while we are gone. It's a problem that doesn't seem to have any great answers, and that's what keeps me semi-awake. How do you know it is the right time? I have had to put other pets to sleep and it seemed more obvious, then. Not easier. It's never easy. It's the hardest thing to do, though I know it comes from love.
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
May 17, 2016.
For a long time I have resisted writing a blog. I like to write, don't get me wrong, but I also thought of it as just another thing to keep up with. I'm a converted journaler, starting about 3 years ago when I was in a very transitional period in my life and The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron jumped off of my friend's bookshelf and into my waiting arms. For me, this blog has been a long-time coming. Really, I have been 'blogging' all along, but it has been in the safety and security of my paper and pen journal with the inspirational owl, quote, or other designer visual on the cover. Nothing public.
I'm more comfortable in the visual realm rather than the written one. Text forces you to explain in a way that pictures do not. I struggle with being concise with words. Ironically, my journal is full of words, not drawings, and the words laid there have been incredibly helpful for me to be able to clarify my thoughts, my reflections.
My paintings have always been about connections. I think that longing for connection is what drives me to begin blogging as well. One of my favorite quotes is from Belgian painter, Luc Tuymans. He supposedly said, "The job of the ambitious painter is to paint the unrepresentable." I love this because that is what I strive to do in my artwork...paint the unrepresentable. Meanwhile, my words on this page will try to explain anyway.
I'm more comfortable in the visual realm rather than the written one. Text forces you to explain in a way that pictures do not. I struggle with being concise with words. Ironically, my journal is full of words, not drawings, and the words laid there have been incredibly helpful for me to be able to clarify my thoughts, my reflections.
My paintings have always been about connections. I think that longing for connection is what drives me to begin blogging as well. One of my favorite quotes is from Belgian painter, Luc Tuymans. He supposedly said, "The job of the ambitious painter is to paint the unrepresentable." I love this because that is what I strive to do in my artwork...paint the unrepresentable. Meanwhile, my words on this page will try to explain anyway.
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